Yarldunwod is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil eagle.

Yarldunwod created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarldunwod, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarldunwod, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yarldunwod's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yarldunwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.