Carkamlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, competent jaguar.

Carkamlarn created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Carkamlarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Carkamlarn, she will destroy your home planet.

Carkamlarn's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Carkamlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Carkamlarn must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Never talk about asteroids.