Jinstigbun is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, tiresome unicorn.

Jinstigbun created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinstigbun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jinstigbun, he will turn you into a tree.

Jinstigbun's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jinstigbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple kilts.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

5. Do not covet oxen.