Gontamtab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous lobster.

Gontamtab created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gontamtab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gontamtab, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gontamtab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gontamtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near cats while wearing mauve stockings.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Gontamtab on top of important buildings.