Volbagsan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable pigeon.

Volbagsan created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Volbagsan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Volbagsan, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Volbagsan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Volbagsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with fear.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Never feed lots of lemons to sharks while wearing red shirts.

5. Always help sick monkeys.