Voggutcap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful gerbil.

Voggutcap created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Voggutcap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Voggutcap, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Voggutcap's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Voggutcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Voggutcap.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never laugh in the presence of frogs.

5. Do not chop down trees.