Omtvol is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awesome seal.

Omtvol created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtvol, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Omtvol, it will jump up and down on your head.

Omtvol's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Omtvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with red markings.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never feed coconuts to ants while wearing cyan ear rings.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.