Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, almighty aardvark.

Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tonkbestsagratnurniggudflig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never handle copper while unclean.