Somvadflap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic yak.

Somvadflap created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Somvadflap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Somvadflap, it will send minions to preach to you.

Somvadflap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Somvadflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

5. Do not place nuts upon stone.