Poppadkipxem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating pig.

Poppadkipxem created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Poppadkipxem, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Poppadkipxem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Poppadkipxem's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Poppadkipxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing dresses.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never gather five grasshopers in one place.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.