Rigmifhen Vogzedgar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, contented raccoon.

Rigmifhen Vogzedgar created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigmifhen Vogzedgar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rigmifhen Vogzedgar, he will not invite you to parties.

Rigmifhen Vogzedgar's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rigmifhen Vogzedgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Hide if five birds approach from the south.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

5. Never record signs.