Figrantamarf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ruthless grasshopper.

Figrantamarf created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figrantamarf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Figrantamarf, she will turn you into a snail.

Figrantamarf's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Figrantamarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.