Gudflatveen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, emotional bear.

Gudflatveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudflatveen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gudflatveen, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gudflatveen's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gudflatveen's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Never run in the presence of great tits.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.