Gutmitjan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate butterfly.

Gutmitjan created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutmitjan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutmitjan, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gutmitjan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gutmitjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Always obey Gutmitjan's priests.