Negladvig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident owl.

Negladvig created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negladvig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Negladvig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Negladvig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Negladvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Always wear plain coats during rituals.