Padliblab Bastgepmum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, flying slug.

Padliblab Bastgepmum created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padliblab Bastgepmum, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Padliblab Bastgepmum, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Padliblab Bastgepmum's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Padliblab Bastgepmum's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark matter near ducks while wearing mauve dresses and balancing four gold spheres on your hands.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Never allow goats to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not stand on grass.