Nuttvadpin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty dolphin.

Nuttvadpin created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvadpin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttvadpin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nuttvadpin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nuttvadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.