Quafsafbem is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy giraffe.

Quafsafbem created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafsafbem, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quafsafbem, he will curse you with boils.

Quafsafbem's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Quafsafbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

2. Do not name children after otters.

3. Do not prepare garlic while wearing stockings.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear blue hats on sacred days.