Gonsomsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, intelligent zebra.

Gonsomsaw created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonsomsaw, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonsomsaw, she will laugh at you.

Gonsomsaw's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gonsomsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never hop in the presence of eagles.