Cenbonkvol is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, able donkey.

Cenbonkvol created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cenbonkvol, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cenbonkvol, he will turn you into a slug.

Cenbonkvol's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cenbonkvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume apples at dawn.

2. Never travel toward the east during winter.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never paint your back yellow.