Lagnullfid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic ferret.

Lagnullfid created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Lagnullfid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lagnullfid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Lagnullfid's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lagnullfid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never feed carrots to frogs while wearing ear rings.

3. You must love Lagnullfid.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your legs purple.