Disspanmid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing cow.

Disspanmid created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disspanmid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Disspanmid, he will send you a sign.

Disspanmid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Disspanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Put Disspanmid first in all things.