Vonzantal is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying hamster.

Vonzantal created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonzantal, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonzantal, he will not invite you to parties.

Vonzantal's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vonzantal's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never proclaim while facing south.

4. Never prepare strawberries during autumn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.