Homjadmil is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, fast seal.

Homjadmil created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homjadmil, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Homjadmil, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Homjadmil's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Homjadmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never allow doves to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.