Dodlunvig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful newt.

Dodlunvig created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodlunvig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dodlunvig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dodlunvig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Dodlunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with yellow markings.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Never gather seven rats near bridges.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing purple boots and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

5. Never sprint in holy places.