Wiplinjen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent ant.

Wiplinjen created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wiplinjen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wiplinjen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Wiplinjen's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Wiplinjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never point your head toward the north during prayer.