Leggabkip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tiresome wolf.

Leggabkip created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Leggabkip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Leggabkip, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Leggabkip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Leggabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Never gather nine cats near bridges.

3. Feed all hungry moths.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.