Cedfedteen is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy jaguar.

Cedfedteen created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedfedteen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cedfedteen, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cedfedteen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cedfedteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

4. Cedfedteen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never travel toward the east during summer.