Vongonmat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet wombat.

Vongonmat created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vongonmat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vongonmat, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vongonmat's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vongonmat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vongonmat first in all things.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Vongonmat loves seals, so they must be honoured.