Kap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering cat.

Kap created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kap, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Kap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kap's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at midday.

2. Do not place turnips upon stone.

3. Never handle titanium while unclean.

4. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.