Kadfatgud is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless hippopotamus.

Kadfatgud created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kadfatgud, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadfatgud, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kadfatgud's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kadfatgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Heed all visions.