Gildabhap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gildabhap created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gildabhap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gildabhap, she will turn you into a dog.

Gildabhap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gildabhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near mites while wearing yellow dresses.