Mutnartgab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, dishonest wolf.

Mutnartgab created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutnartgab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mutnartgab, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mutnartgab's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mutnartgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Mutnartgab.

3. Put Mutnartgab first in all things.

4. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.