Mifjopnar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful narwhal.

Mifjopnar created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifjopnar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mifjopnar, he will turn you into a mole.

Mifjopnar's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Mifjopnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mifjopnar.

5. Never mention aardvarks.