Bamtamhas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain naga.

Bamtamhas created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtamhas, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bamtamhas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bamtamhas' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bamtamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not name children after snakes.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.