Artkipten is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, annoying squid.

Artkipten created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Artkipten, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artkipten, he will turn you into a plant.

Artkipten's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Artkipten's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not hurt great tits.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not speak about spinach.