Nartdubcan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, benevolent penguin.

Nartdubcan created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartdubcan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nartdubcan, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nartdubcan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nartdubcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle titanium while unclean.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

4. Never prepare cherries during spring.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.