Jappoplat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, annoying slug.

Jappoplat created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jappoplat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jappoplat, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Jappoplat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jappoplat's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before touching zinc.

2. Never feed melons to goats while wearing yellow rings.

3. Never approach forests carrying clay.

4. Always help mites in need.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.