Tafgonquatmon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate hummingbird.

Tafgonquatmon created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafgonquatmon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tafgonquatmon, it will ignore you.

Tafgonquatmon's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tafgonquatmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas on fasting days.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not prepare cherries while filled with joy.