Mumyamcar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic squid.

Mumyamcar created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumyamcar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mumyamcar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Mumyamcar's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Mumyamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.