Jarnbugjad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omnipotent zebra.

Jarnbugjad created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbugjad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jarnbugjad, he will turn you into a plant.

Jarnbugjad's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Jarnbugjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Never mix figs with ash.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Do not drink alcohol.