Gepbessbass Davsawpas is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical narwhal.

Gepbessbass Davsawpas created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepbessbass Davsawpas, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gepbessbass Davsawpas, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gepbessbass Davsawpas' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gepbessbass Davsawpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from orange doves, for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your chest blue.

5. Never talk about optics.