Largbinab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unfair dryad.

Largbinab created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Largbinab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Largbinab, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Largbinab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Largbinab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never mix grapes with ash.