Yarpdavshav is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane raccoon.

Yarpdavshav created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpdavshav, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarpdavshav, she will destroy your favourite star.

Yarpdavshav's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Yarpdavshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white hats on sacred days.

2. Always obey Yarpdavshav's priests.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about dogs.