Pakyartfen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient owl.

Pakyartfen created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakyartfen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pakyartfen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pakyartfen's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Pakyartfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons on days of mourning.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.