Mabgoffoss Wipraw is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced mongoose.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabgoffoss Wipraw, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mabgoffoss Wipraw, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never gather nine bats near walls.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never remain standing at dusk.

5. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.