Flatfligtab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, effective cow.

Flatfligtab created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatfligtab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flatfligtab, she will cry a lot.

Flatfligtab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Flatfligtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near manatees while wearing pink shirts.

2. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Never jump in the presence of sharks.

4. Never feed bread to dogs while wearing jumpers.

5. Do not take Flatfligtab's name in vain.