Pinransit is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, blissful elephant.

Pinransit created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinransit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pinransit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pinransit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pinransit's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.