Rutratvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring crane.

Rutratvag created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutratvag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rutratvag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rutratvag's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rutratvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Do not wear ear rings marked with yellow.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to porpoises while wearing fawn shoes.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.