Gebfundit Bessfonmut is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, contented dingo.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Gebfundit Bessfonmut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebfundit Bessfonmut, it will turn you into a slug.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not chop down trees.